End of the Year Film

Here is the movie that the students and Leslie Patterson put together about the students’ time enduring my class.

5th grade End of the Year Movie from Jason Flom on Vimeo.

Newborn Do’s-and-Do not’s

Do ‘s

  1. Feed it baby food.(Or breast milk, depending on how old it is)
  2. Give it a pacifier.
  3. If it IS a baby, don’t bring it to pre-school.
  4. Sing, ‘Rock-a-bye-baby’ to it.
  5. Put diapers on it.
  6. Change it’s diaper when necessary.
  7. Let it work on the blog(Just kidding!(But, what it would come out with would be pretty funny, I bet.) )

Do not ‘s

  1. Give it a plastic bag.
  2. Give the baby a rock.
  3. Starve the baby.
  4. Roll the baby in bread crumbs and pop it in the oven at 350°F. 5.5.   (Or 600°C)
  5. Feed it dog food.
  6. Feed it a clock.
  7. Strap it to a dog’s back.
  8. Let it sleep in on a pre-school day.
  9. Say,” You are a (Edited out upon request), and a (Again, edited out upon request), and, finally, a (Last time, edited out upon request)!”, because that would be just plain downright WRONG.

Parenting Dos and Don’ts

Parenting Do’s and Don’ts for Handeling Newborns

  • Don’t give your infant coffee,beer,soda,slushies,wine etc. It will make them very sick ( they might die)

  • Do give your infant lots of warm milk.

  • Don’t leave your infant in a locked car, especially on a hot summer day.

  • Do change your infants diaper regularly, so they don’t develope a rash.

  • I f you are a smoker don’t smoke in the presents of your infant, it is unhealthy for babies to breath those toxic fumes.

  • Don’t eat your infant; no matter how tasty they look.

  • Don’t neglect your infant ( they can’t fend for themslelves).

  • If you notice your infant acting a bit strange don’t ignore it and say ” oh, it’s just a phase. . . .” DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Do make sure your infant gets enough sleep at night, it will make  life easier for you and your baby. 

  • Do make sure your baby does not share it’s pacifier with his or her friends.

  • Do make sure your baby gets it’s shots i.e: H1N1,seasonal flu, chicken pox etc.

  • Do make sure your baby is taught how to cover a cough/sneeze the correct way.

the big book of newborn rules vol. seven

the big book of newborn rules. Vol. seven by ella kiwala

baby-crying jpg

chapter one, the do’s.

1. Whenever they feed you something you find the slightest bit tangy or spicy or even the tiniest bit funky, SPIT IT UP!!!

2. Look around and chew on anything that looks important.

3. Barf as much as possible. or when it is most inconvenient for you parent.

4.Right when everyone seems to be having a good time, star screaming, and crying.

5. When you need to go to the bathroom, feel free to go wherever wherever, you need to.

6.Demand food whenever you feel the slightest bit of hunger.

7.Make a mess of as many things as possible, food, toys, barf, etc.

8.slobber. All the time, on cloths, sheets, toys, and especially whoever is holding you, make sure to slobber on them too.

9.When they give you a shot, is mandatory, they have to give it to you, so make it as complicated and loud as possible.

10. Chew, suck, and gnaw on anything within 3 feet of you.

 

Chapter two, the don’ts

1 do not sleep all the time, you’re wasting valuable time.

2 do not eat like a normal person, make a mess!!!!

3 play. Do what they tell you, but have some fun with it, make it complex. make it hard, scream a couple times.

4 pacifiers. SPIT THEM OUT!!! Only normal kids use them.

5 do not let them know when you need a diaper change, that’s their problem, not yours.

6 do not let the big box with Elmo inside it get to your head, there just trying to distract you.

7 bother the pets, they love to have their tails and ears yanked.

8 don’t spit everything out, you need food.

9 do keep your stuffed animals, don’t let anybody or anything have them.

10 don’t give them too much of a hard time, the need a break every once in a while.

(them is referring to your parents, and or siblings.)

Newborn do’s and dont’s (advice for parents)

if you are a newborns parents, read this advice from the 5th graders

well first…

Don’t feed your newborn soda in its baby bottle or in anything

Don’t let your baby continuously drink milk througout the night or its teeth will  rot. (trust me my moms a children’s nurse)

If  your in a rush still strap your newborn securely or it will not be safe.

If  your a smoker don’t smoke around your baby,…they don’t have the choice to smoke or not and you do and you don’t want your baby to have bad lungs or anything bad like that they might even have to go to the hospital.

don’t feed your baby too much…don’t make them phat or make them choke…or someting.

and last but not least…

just don’t feed your baby moldy food…please!!!

bye…

Quick Family Inference Assignment

Tonight (Monday, October 12) students need to write down 4 inferences about their family.

These are intended to be simple. Examples:

My family is always busy.

Everyone in my family treats each other with respect all of the time. (Not a likely one.)

The members of my family value the outdoors.

The next step (Tuesday and Wednesday night) will be for students to prove each of their statements with 4 examples.